Diminishing Returns

Or my smartphone is killing my creativity and possibly our humanity

Hello friends and happy December.

When did that happen? I turned around and suddenly it had been 5 month since I wrote you. Which is exactly what I want to write about. Recently I’ve realized I’ve stopped making things. Not entirely, of course. If you’ve been keeping up with my life on any other social media, you’ll know I’ve joined the team at 2nd Try and put my hat in the ring at being a “try guy.” If you don’t know what a try guy is. Don’t google it, unless you want to read some juicy gossip and think pieces about the downfall of the “wife guy.”

But for those of you who know about my recent try guy-ness, you also likely know that I made a show. One that I’m really proud of, actually. It’s called “New Guy Tries.” And you can watch the first episode here. It’s about my journey into figuring how to become a man without the presence of my biggest male figure, my dad. Warning my mom is in the first episode and she’ll probably make you cry, like she made me cry. All this to say, I have made something recently— this show. But after making it, I realized it was in fact the first time in a long time that I had actually made something.

Since leaving BuzzFeed in 2018, I’ve written for a few TV shows, sold a tv pilot to ABC, worked on screenplays no one has seen, and am currently working on a rom-com audio original for Simon & Schuster (only that won’t be out til early 2026.) You see Hollywood has a way of stopping creatives from actually making things. We work on things, talk about making them, or develop them round and round, but actually making? Well that’s a rarity. But alas my lack of creativity isn’t just Hollywood’s fault… it’s also my smartphones lol.

Fine I’ll take some responsibility and say that I of course have a choice whether to use/own a smart phone and/or go on Instagram 1-3 hours a day! A DAY! Yes, and that’s me trying to cut back. All so that an algorithm can feed me silly little gifs, keep me in my cozy little bubble, and destroy my attention span while constantly trying to sell me cat toys and cozy cardigans. Yuck. No wonder I’ve been feel icky lately. No wonder we all have. Not to get all Switchfoot on you, but I’m going to go ahead and say that “we were meant to live for so much more.” Also if you got that reference, how’s your religious trauma going?

But yeah. 1-3 hours/day and that’s just on Instagram. Not to be dramatic, but I have willing chained myself to something that is only trying to exploit me. And don’t worry I’m not an “all technology is bad and we should all be luddites” type of dude. I mean I’m writing this from a pastel yellow iMac that I’m happy exists so I can “express myself” a la Elle Woods buying an orange laptop. Yes, I know I was just railing against capitalism a moment ago, but we contain multitudes, do we not?

All I’m saying is maybe we’ve reached the moment of diminishing returns on all this technology, all this power, all this unending knowledge in our pockets. Perhaps it’s killing us a little, or maybe just numbing us, seducing us. Giving us never-ending feeds of content so that we’re content to never make anything again. Or consume anything thoughtfully or critically.

a picture i took recently

I have art supplies, I don’t use them. I have books, I don’t read them. I have a guitar, I don’t play it. No instead I sit on instagram for 1-3/day doing actually god know what except feel a little bit worse about myself most days. But lucky for me, I’ve learned how to be self-compassionate, within the last few years actually. And it means I can give myself grace for things that I was doing that are perhaps against my best interests. I mean I wasn’t the super-evil CEOs and technogods who decided to capitalize on my innate human interests and emotions to turn around to sell them to the highest bidder. No, I’m just the pawn. And I can have some empathy for a pawn.

There’s not really a point per se to this post. But maybe that is the post. The other reason I haven’t been making things is because at some point I bought into the lie of perfection. Something that’s been saving me recently is a newly discovered motto “progress, not perfection.” Thanks for that one Al-anon, it’s been a real lifesaver.

So yeah, more making, less mindless consuming. Another Al-anon gem, “what you focus on gets bigger.” And I’m tired of giving instagram this much space in my life. I mean I wrote this in 20 minutes. Imagine if I wrote for the 1-3 hours a day that I spent on instagram? Maybe I’d actually finish a screenplay now and then.

Love y’all. Hope you’re working on your own self-compassion.

ASH