Thank you so much for sharing this. So well written. Leaving a place/ state that felt comfortable and home-like really is very emotionally intense. (And never thought of how similar gender transition feelings can feel to that at times, when moving away from the practised familarity of cis gender expression). Feeling inspired by the idea of gradually becoming ones own home. Subscribed and looking forward to reading your further substack posts.
Wow Ash. I have followed you since the Buzzfeed days (mostly via videos) and I have never really actually read your writing. It speaks to me as someone going through having a dying parent, and while I never worked at Buzzfeed, my school was right down the street and I have that same pang when I pass the Netflix building. So much of that neighborhood has changed. I really appreciate your words about nostalgia, and just know you aren't alone in those feelings. There are people who are feeling the exact same thing, and also trying to cope with the lonely, un-homeyness of life right now. Thank you so much
Thanks AP for sharing your thoughts and feelSss. I’m new here, but I’m just glad I’m here. <3 I’ve been struggling with my own sort of identity crisis and probably always will. Haha. I guess that’s just being human. XD Thankful for people (you) that make the world feel less lonely.
Thank you Ashly, I needed to read that, teared up a little. As someone moving away soon again leaving behind my family and boyfriend it's a bit scary, but we aren't our attachments and our attachments aren't our home.
I send all my love to you and love love love your writing
I've looked up to you since I was a little sophomore in high school watching your first buzzfeed violet videos. You were the first Asian American representation I had growing up. You made me feel seen through your goofiness as well as your unapologetic queerness. I just wanted to share that you make me, a 27 year old now, less afraid of growing up. It is very comforting to see that the sparkle doesn't go away no matter how hard life hits you in the face. I'm so excited for your grand return to the internet and to be able to continue to see your chapters of adulting!
During my sophomore year of college my friend was raped by a person who was not a student or a member of the campus community. I was on of the first people who responded to this incident in the middle of the night. The amount of grief, loss, pain, and trauma I felt, and still feel, is immeasurable. As college students we are promised that our campus will be our home, our safe space. This promise was so abruptly broken by the administration's inability to keep us safe. I no longer had a home where I felt safe.
Thank you so much for shedding light onto how a loss of a home can be grieved about. How loosing a home doesn't have to be about your literal home.
#EAAAlumni I’ve only heard of the greatness of the old campus. Trust me no one missed out on the prison. Thanks for sharing your words. Healing, inspiring, and beautiful.
"I'm just as fucking confused as you are." Thank you for sharing. Always appreciate you sharing snippets of you life, the thoughts and insights you pull together. I know so many people will appreciate sensing they're not alone in feeling like life is weird, me included.
I'm living nearish to old EAA now and I still think of the campus whenever we drive by. The mulberry trees between the elementary buildings, the redtail hawks and their nest in the eucalyptus, banging my head on the payphone when I used to dump my backpack under it during lunch.
My parents still live in the same house but it's been renovated. It's pretty but some days it feels like it's been sterilized of my childhood.
Excited to tag along for further Substack writings. - Katelane
Katelane. Time is wild, huh? We're still so young, but turns out 33 years is long enough to kick up some real nostalgia in us. I don't think I'll ever stop being confused, and glad you're there with me. Miss you and think often of our childhood adventures. Hope our paths cross again real soon <3
this is giving me life and also flashbacks to your blog when you were overseas after college! so happy to be back here with you :)
Thank you so much for sharing this. So well written. Leaving a place/ state that felt comfortable and home-like really is very emotionally intense. (And never thought of how similar gender transition feelings can feel to that at times, when moving away from the practised familarity of cis gender expression). Feeling inspired by the idea of gradually becoming ones own home. Subscribed and looking forward to reading your further substack posts.
Glad there’s a place to read your writing again!
Wow Ash. I have followed you since the Buzzfeed days (mostly via videos) and I have never really actually read your writing. It speaks to me as someone going through having a dying parent, and while I never worked at Buzzfeed, my school was right down the street and I have that same pang when I pass the Netflix building. So much of that neighborhood has changed. I really appreciate your words about nostalgia, and just know you aren't alone in those feelings. There are people who are feeling the exact same thing, and also trying to cope with the lonely, un-homeyness of life right now. Thank you so much
Thanks AP for sharing your thoughts and feelSss. I’m new here, but I’m just glad I’m here. <3 I’ve been struggling with my own sort of identity crisis and probably always will. Haha. I guess that’s just being human. XD Thankful for people (you) that make the world feel less lonely.
Thank you Ashly, I needed to read that, teared up a little. As someone moving away soon again leaving behind my family and boyfriend it's a bit scary, but we aren't our attachments and our attachments aren't our home.
I send all my love to you and love love love your writing
I've looked up to you since I was a little sophomore in high school watching your first buzzfeed violet videos. You were the first Asian American representation I had growing up. You made me feel seen through your goofiness as well as your unapologetic queerness. I just wanted to share that you make me, a 27 year old now, less afraid of growing up. It is very comforting to see that the sparkle doesn't go away no matter how hard life hits you in the face. I'm so excited for your grand return to the internet and to be able to continue to see your chapters of adulting!
During my sophomore year of college my friend was raped by a person who was not a student or a member of the campus community. I was on of the first people who responded to this incident in the middle of the night. The amount of grief, loss, pain, and trauma I felt, and still feel, is immeasurable. As college students we are promised that our campus will be our home, our safe space. This promise was so abruptly broken by the administration's inability to keep us safe. I no longer had a home where I felt safe.
Thank you so much for shedding light onto how a loss of a home can be grieved about. How loosing a home doesn't have to be about your literal home.
#EAAAlumni I’ve only heard of the greatness of the old campus. Trust me no one missed out on the prison. Thanks for sharing your words. Healing, inspiring, and beautiful.
"I'm just as fucking confused as you are." Thank you for sharing. Always appreciate you sharing snippets of you life, the thoughts and insights you pull together. I know so many people will appreciate sensing they're not alone in feeling like life is weird, me included.
I'm living nearish to old EAA now and I still think of the campus whenever we drive by. The mulberry trees between the elementary buildings, the redtail hawks and their nest in the eucalyptus, banging my head on the payphone when I used to dump my backpack under it during lunch.
My parents still live in the same house but it's been renovated. It's pretty but some days it feels like it's been sterilized of my childhood.
Excited to tag along for further Substack writings. - Katelane
Katelane. Time is wild, huh? We're still so young, but turns out 33 years is long enough to kick up some real nostalgia in us. I don't think I'll ever stop being confused, and glad you're there with me. Miss you and think often of our childhood adventures. Hope our paths cross again real soon <3